Thursday, 29 November 2012

6 Days Old and finding things hard

I'm not ashamed to be writing this post but I'd hoped I would be finding things easier than I am. I had hoped I'd begin night time feeding without any problems but its really been a struggle. I have barely found the energy to even get up! I think its a combination of a few things before we had Olivia I was working from 6am until half 4 and we were having broken nights sleep with Harry. This had lead to an accumulation of zero energy and with people visiting in the day catching up with sleep has proved impossible.

At present our sleep and baby feed routineis a follows, Katy goes to bed early to get a few solid hours sleep then I bring Olivia up between 11 and 12. Getting her down inevitability doesn't last long usually because she is usually suffering with wind. Katy will get up with her until about 5 am, then I will get up with her until 6 then I tend to get up and go downstairs. Then Katy can sleep till 10am, this routine seems to work at the moment however It leaves me feeling very guilty about leaving the night feeds to Katy. Because I'm feeling guilty about this, it makes me feel like I'm struggling and that I'm failing as a parent. Every night I go to bed thinking I'm too tired to do the nights but I forget that I stay up late and  I'm up really early with Olivia and Katy gets to sleep when I do this.

I know deep down that things are OK it can just feel so disheartening and make me feel a bit useless when I just can't face getting up in the night time.

As we 6 Days Old I think a host of pictures are required .

I love my family so much I'm so proud of them. I wont leave this post being all doom and gloom, any baby arrival is going to be a massively disruptive. One thing I'm enjoying strangely is getting the bottles done I'm mega organised this time. Last time with Harry we let them build up and up and had to wash and sterilize them at stupid o clock more than once. This time if there is not a stock of at least 6 bottles with boiled water in ready then I'm washing more to build up the stock.

I think this next week will be a challenge and I'm not overly looking forward to it however things will settle down when we establish a routine.

When I say we I actually mean Katy, yet again she has been the most amazing mother I have  ever seen. She has taken to being Olivia's mummy like a duck to water, she defiantly carries me :-)

We are a unit but she will always be the driving force behind our successes .